231,709 notes reblog ♦ 14 hours ago
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queerqueensansa:

postllimit:

mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something

my dad has literally called me by his own name. 

(via supermoclel)

11,802 notes reblog ♦ 17 hours ago
487,513 notes reblog ♦ 17 hours ago

bootyguarcl:

lavalamp-of-epicness:

I didn’t get any cake yesterday cause apparently my dad was still working on it.

He brought it to school today and I’m just-

image

how

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is all of that

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frickin sugar?

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holy jesus 

wtf i think your dad just defied the law of physics and pastries

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

(via fake-mermaid)